As Magda dug into the soil, placing her weight on her toes to keep her heals from sticking into the ground, she contemplated how her skills with the small saw on the multi tool had improved enough for her to build the crude fence from the dead shrubs that had lined the yard. It wouldn't keep the small crawling critters out, but it would help deter the larger wild animals. Magda was grateful that there didn't seem to be any large predators, just a few wild horses, deer, and the occasional racoon. For the most part the larger animals seemed skittish of her and stayed away, except the occasional deer. In an effort to conserve her limited supply of burnable materials, Magda pushed herself to use body movement for warmth. For once she didn't mind the tacky clothes Vicenzo had given her, as the ill fitting garments worked with her expanding belly. The ill fitting garments had also been handy to wear when she'd crudely fixed the flooring on the second floor in the hall and the drafty room she was using. In the humid heat the drafts helped keep her cool at night, but she had no idea of how the fall or winter would be on the island. There were days when she felt imprisoned by her choices, and hoped that her limited food supply wasn't hurting the child growing within her belly. She'd tried denying her condition but those kicks couldn't be denied, especially when they knocked her small plate of greens off of her belly. A very real baby from a fake marriage would be joining her in the utter isolation of the island for once in the last few years she considered the impact of her choices on someone besides herself. The scientists had been nice enough with trading supplies for her finds, but none of them knew anything about children let alone the birthing process of babies outside of the basics covered by biology classes. Magda allowed herself a moment of self congratulation. The crib in a box had assembled smoother than she had first feared after looking at the thin instruction book and all the parts included. Magda was about to get herself another plate of greens when the first contraction hit. Holy hell waters, the pain that rippled across her belly and low back was worse than anything she'd experienced to date as far as physical pain went. She carefully made her way to her room and alternated between resting on the bed when contractions gripped her and pacing the room. As an extra strong contraction ripped through her tears rushed down her face memories long buried broke free and swirled chaotically in her mind threatening her grip on sanity and reality. Mamma was so pretty, her long blond hair tickled Magda's nose as she reached up giggling. Mamma tossed her high and Magda squealed in delight. Mamma's pretty red dress against the green of the grass and the blue blanket she lounged on. Mamma warned Magda to not wander to far as she tried to toddle after a butterfly. Mamma trying to hide tears as she crumbled the piece of paper the man in uniform had delivered. Mamma's voice cracking as she sung Magda to sleep. Mamma's stiff black dress as they sat on the wooden bench, and the strangers saying papa had been a hero. Mamma's plate untouched, her hair wasn't shiny anymore it was dull and stringy. Mamma's pretty dresses hanging in the closet, Mamma didn't wear them anymore, only the stained stiff black dress. Mamma didn't laugh or sing anymore, Magda didn't understand why they didn't go to the park anymore. Why Mamma cried so hard when she touched Magda's hair. Magda couldn't understand why Mamma didn't wake up, she was hungry and Mamma always got her food when she was hungry. Strangers broke in and Magda cried harder for Mamma to wake up. The strange man in the dark blue uniform had been nice, he'd given her something to eat, someone in a white coat was telling him broken heart syndrome. A lady in a stiff woolen suit introduced Magda to a couple. It was the first time Magda heard the words orphan, no family left, she was four. The memories swirled more. The lunch room at school and the other children making fun of not just Magda, but the others from the orphanage as well. The scowling teacher handing her worn worn supplies, and stating she, and the other orphans, weren't trusted to take the good books home. High school and Lacy's joy at making the cheer team being cut short after learning that there was no money for the uniform. Jacob trying to hide tears after the other kids called him gay and fag, when he'd dressed up with some of the acting class supplies before school. The droop in the directors shoulders after Jacob's lifeless body had been pulled from river. The tear quickly wiped away from Lacy's eye's. Homecoming when Brittany had taunted Magda for even attempting to run for prom royalty. The determination Magda had felt when she decided that she'd show those rich snobs up by becoming wealthier than all of them. The elation when her acting skills had paid off and she'd been admitted into the swanky club and landed her first wealthy boyfriend and moved away from Riverview. The sting of rejection when she had realized that Edgar and Sven had merely used her towards their own ends. Holding her daughter in her arms Magda felt reality snap back into focus, and she pushed her past back into the dark recesses of her mind, no longer locked away behind doors, but no longer a threat to her sanity either. Magda named her Apple and gingerly placed her in the crib as she felt a kick and another contraction. Insanity threatened to crash back down as she realized she was about to have another child. As dawn peaked through the boarded up windows Magda stared down at the little boy wiggling in her arms. At a loss for names she went the only route her exhausted and frazzled brain offered up and named the boy Vincenzo after their father. It had taken about a week, which had felt like forever, but Magda managed to get a second crib dropped off. It's assembly had gone much smoother having had practice assembling Apple's crib. Her clothes still didn't fit right so she continued to wear the pink thing. Magda didn't wandered far from the house, she wanted to be able to hear her children when they woke. She soaked up the little bit of warm sun and harvested what she could from the garden. She wanted to explore for more trade-ables but was worried about her children's safety. There were no close by neighbors to call the police if anything happened to Magda, and the memory of hunger and Mamma not waking up haunted her fears. She'd used the last of her credit from an odd gnome she'd unearthed in the garden, with the scientists to get an artists easel, some painting supplies, and the materials needed to fix the doors so the house was now secured from animals wandering in and out on the first floor. Magda stumbled towards the cribs, and tried to remember what sleep was. Thinking there had to be more than this to life. The lack of sleep and constant isolation made everything feel like a story that had happened to someone else. As the twins slowly slept more steadily as they grew bigger, Magda found more clarity through painting. She traded a painting for a shovel, and after a months hard work, managed to move the piping and pump away from the kitchen door and out into the garden. Yes it meant walking further for potable water, but it was worth not having water bugs in the kitchen. She could feel the nip of fall in the air and wondered if the stairs would hold if she tried to shift the furniture downstairs. Magda traded another painting, and got a few small items to keep her growing, and now crawling, babies occupied while she painted and gardened.
As Apple and Vincenzo played with their toys Magda felt a fierce protectiveness growing within her. She wasn't sure how she'd manage, but she was determined that her children would never know the pain, humiliation, or loneliness that she'd experienced after entering the orphanage. On one level she no longer craved the desire to be alone with a large pile of money, but she still found herself craving the nicer things in life that she knew were available.
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