An exhausted Magda joined her children at the table, wondering for the fifth time why she'd let Vincenzo get the ice cream from the ships mess officer. They had no electricity, let alone a working refrigerator in which to store it. As they ate their dinner Magda realized it was more than past time to take Apple and Vincenzo around the island. Especially to the abandoned mine to look for ores and stones. Magda explained to Apple and Vincenzo where they would be going, and that while they were permitted to dig through the large pile of scrap that they would need to be very careful, as some of the pieces were rusty and had very sharp edges. That night they all slept restlessly. Apple dreamed of getting a new bed, while Vincenzo dreamed of getting more ice cream. If Magda dreamed, she didn't remember recall what the dreams were. She did recall fretting about Apple and Vincenzo's education as she drifted off to sleep. There was so much they would need to learn, and she wasn't sure how much she would be able to teach them. Magda choose to take Apple and Vincenzo the long way around to the mine. Unsure of why she didn't want them to realize that it was just a few short feet away from the house right away, Magda paused and stared at their home. It was a little odd, almost funny, the once dead trees had re-blossomed with life over the last few years, but the fruit trees in the garden had gone dormant and stopped growing after their first winter. Taking in one last look at the windows yet to be fixed she was a little sad that she'd have to kill more of the ivy when she got around to repairing those windows. When they arrived at the mine Vincenzo made straight for the outhouse, while Apple stopped to pick some flowers. Magda smiled and promised Apple that they would find something to put the flowers in once home. They were pretty, but given they had no trade value Magda had always ignored them. Magda then turned her attention to collecting rocks, those and animal specimens were what would bring in the money, along with her paintings. Both children had spotted the small ponds and the fish swimming in them and asked Magda if the fish were edible. Magda admitted she didn't know and hadn't considered fishing before. She promised to ask next time the ship came. She however didn't mention to them that she hadn't known how to cook before arriving on the island. A few days later the ship had come by, and as Magda traded the raw ores and stones she once again wondered about leaving the island. The captain just shook his head and pointed out it would be cheaper to install soar panels and computers for long distance education than the several hundred thousand that would be needed for boarding schools on top of the 50,000 per person each direction of travel. As Magda's face fell the captain reassured her that the supplies needed for solar power had come a long way over the last few decades, and that even with the constant fog the island endured she would be able to get enough light to run some simple basic electrical items. As the captain rummaged for the appropriate catalog Magda mentioned the twins question about fishing, and blushed as she explained that she'd never fished before let alone knew how to cook fish. With a kindly smile the captain replied that he could help Magda with information on fish and fishing for free, and turned to pull another book off of the shelf and three fishing poles off of the wall. Armed with three poles and two slim books Magda made her way back to the house. The twins were so excited to see the poles that they requested a trip to the pond right away. In addition to gardening, fishing became a part of their daily routine regardless of what the weather was doing. It took the trio awhile but eventually they got the hang of baiting their hooks so the worms wouldn't fall off. Magda both looked forward to and dreaded the day one of them actually caught anything. She hoped and prayed that the first catch would be one of the tiny fish mentioned in the book that didn't require special preparation and could be cooked nearly whole after removing the intestines. Magda stared at the results of her hard work. The solar panels had been surprisingly simple to assemble and install, running the cable to the house had also been relatively easy. The hardest part had been getting the pavers back as if they'd never been disturbed. The new windows had been a quick and easy installation, as she'd had a small bit of experience with them already and knew to not worry about trying to saving the ivy. She also knew that with time it would grow back if she let it. The twins had been excited to fire up the new computers. Magda shivered a little as a feminine recording played as the twins watched a demo - how to file, the voice and the beeps were familiar, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was reminding her of. She shook herself and sent the twins off to play while she assembled the rest of the new furniture that had arrived. Magda smiled as she surveyed the new beds, as well as the new windows in her room. Vincenzo had requested a red bed spread similar to hers, while Apple had requested a green bed spread. Magda continued to paint a little everyday while the twins worked on their studies. They would take a mid day break for their lunch as well as to fish. When the twins requested a video game for flying planes Magda declined the request, and instead encouraged them to go fishing or try to find small animals. Magda couldn't explain to herself or the twins why the game bothered her, but it did, the beeping and busy airport noises haunted her and made it hard for her to stay relaxed and in the now with her children. She found herself repainting Edgar's study on multiple occasions. To regain her sense of calm Magda found herself back out in the garden. It became their routine that if the twins were doing school work, or having free time on the computer she made herself as scarce as possible. Sometimes she'd be in the garden, other days she'd go down the hill to the mine and scrounge fore ore and rocks. Eventually she collected enough to get all new cabinets and a stove that would work with the solar system they had. She also got a book with instruction on how to install an arch door and turned the pantry into a small hall way to the kitchen. She had also purchased and installed more plumbing fixtures into the upstairs, so that they now had two full bathrooms to share between the three of them. Magda had also purchased pipe insulation a few years earlier, so she no longer had to worry about the pipes freezing and bursting as had happened during her first winter. As the twins finished their afternoon assignments in the dining room Magda put the finishing touches on her latest painting just as a few early flakes drifted down from the sky.
Perhaps it was because she was older now, but it felt like the seasons and years were rushing by. Some days when she looked at how quickly the twins were growing she felt like everything was fuzzy, as if in a dream. Whenever she felt like that she would shake herself and tell herself to snap out of it. She would then recount and review every milestone they'd achieved together from their first steps to her successfully catching, cleaning, and cooking her first trout. The twins had learned that on the mainland children took buses to school, and got to attend after school activities such as scouting or ballet classes. Magda reviewed the scouting activities and pointed out that they already did those activities every day. When she pushed the twins on the topic of ballet they hedged and hawed. Magda decided that perhaps it might be a good idea to invest in a ballet bar and a few other exercise related items, instead of some of the other items she had been considering. When Vincenzo spotted a charity auction on stair risers and running cloth Magda allowed him to bid the hundred he'd earned from his small animal finds. They were all surprised when the science ship swung by with the materials on board. The three of them spent an afternoon working carefully on the stairs, and were well rewarded when the stairs no longer squeaked or groaned as they went up and down them. As Magda surveyed their home, she contemplated living a lifestyle of the rich and famous. She then laughed at herself, sure her paintings were selling for much more now than when she had first started painting, but outside of the ships crew and the scientists there was no one to schmooze with in order to become a famous celebrity. With a firm set to her light frame she decided that simply living in the lap of luxury would do.
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Magda found her days finally settling into a new routine now that her children had reached their crawling stage. She would grab naps and bites to eat whenever she could, between caring for her children, and harvesting shat she could before the cold of winter fully settled in. Some days she even managed to get a partial bath in. She found herself missing the walks around the island. More than that she missed sleep, as the twins still wouldn't sleep through the entire night. Magda had managed to trade another painting for some new clothes that were slightly more suited to living on an island with small children, and a simple chest of drawers. She had very carefully stored her silks and satin's in a drawer out of toddler reach and wondered if she'd ever get to wear them again. The stairs creaked as Magda carried Apple up to bed, and Magda once again wondered if it would be better to move their beds down stairs. With the heat of summer gone, and the cool of fall and winter descending it was getting harder to keep both rooms heated. Magda realized that she must miss certain foods, like cheese, far more than she realized if she was painting pictures of them. Much to her dismay perishable foods weren't something she could get imported. Magda carefully surveyed the room. It was close to the kitchen, and if she could get the windows fixed it would keep them warm during the winter. She was confident in her ability to disassemble and reassemble the cribs, it was her own bed she was unsure of. It had taken Magda the better part of a day and half a night, but she had gotten all of their furniture moved downstairs. Even happier was despite the groans and creaks the staircase had held under the heavier weight of the end tables. She'd also managed to sell another painting and the old tv in exchange for new window pains. It had only been enough for the one room, but that was all she was concerned with keeping warm for now. The ships captain eyes had lit up as he had complimented her work, and Magda had felt a small flair of something deep inside. No one had ever genuinely complimented her on anything before. She found herself wanting to create another painting for the captain. More than once Magda wondered why she hadn't ordered a second potty chair, then she would remember the cost of the one and heave a deep silent sigh. As she mopped her thoughts wandered, and she wondered if there was something wrong with her children as they didn't talk or walk yet. As she moped her mind wandered further back into the deep recesses and a hazy memory surfaced of the couple running the orphanage teaching the babies how to walk and talk. Magda felt a flush of embarrassment creep across her face, and found herself grateful after a fashion that she was alone, with no one to witness her embarrassment besides her children who seemed oblivious to anything beyond the xylophone and sorting blocks. After that day she made sure she spent a small portion of each day teaching Apple and Vincenzo how to walk. She found it helped her focus on something more than how alone and isolated she was, or how confined to the house she was now that it was far to cold to spend more than a few minutes at a time outside. When the snow finally arrived it was deeper and colder than anything Magda could remember experiencing before in her life, and she found herself grateful that she'd moved their beds downstairs. She also learned that water pipes don't do well in the deep cold. Hoping it would help she shredded the ghastly pink dress that had seen her through her pregnancy into long strips and wound them around a few critical pipes. As she fought with the frozen toilet, Magda wished she had more of something to insulate the pipes with. The strips from the dress had been just enough for the kitchen sink and part of the pipes that ran to the bathroom. She'd shut off the water to the tub and bathroom sink in an effort to prevent those pipes from breaking. Magda inspected the plants she'd bought inside from the garden almost daily, and found herself wondering why she'd even bothered. They weren't producing anything anymore beside the occasional weeds. Yet every time she considered tossing them she found herself thinking of how soothing it was to tend them even though they weren't producing, and how much they brightened up the small room, and so she kept them inside for the time being. She also hung a small sketch on the wall. In time Apple and Vincenzo learned how to walk, or more accurately toddle around, and so Magda focused her time with them on learning how to talk. Magda found herself longing for the day when they would be steady enough on their feet to take outside. Magda hung her latest painting, a repeat of the cheeses, on the wall and wondered when the scientists would stop by again. It was hard to tell time, but she was fairly sure it had been several months since the last stop. The isolation was eating at her, she could feel her sanity slipping, and not even the twins were enough company on some days, and she would find herself talking to herself. One cold morning as Magda added more branches and twigs to the oven she wondered if the heat was enough to cook on. So far all she'd eaten was raw salads, as she had never cooked anything before in her life. She'd always made herself absent on cooking days at the orphanage, skipped home ec in school, and always gotten someone to buy her meals out after she'd left the orphanage. As she watched the apples in the pan she realized that she didn't even know how to heat up a microwave meal or a noodle cup. Magda stared at the paints on her pallet, she was almost out of painting supplies. She looked at her supplies and then the canvas on the easel, and hoped that one the ship would be by soon, and that someone on board would offer her more than 25 for the finished painting. The spring thaw arrived and so did the ship. There was a new scientist on board who liked Magda's latest painting so much that they paid her 300 for it. Magda turned around and spent the money on more painting supplies and a large play table for the twins, as they were showing signs of being bored with toys she'd previously gotten them. Magda focused on smaller paintings for a while, now that she had a full range of colors to work with again. While she painted the twins happily played with the new blocks talking back and forth to each other with their toddler vocabulary. Months sailed by, as Magda settled into the new routine of tending the once again active garden. Playing with the twins here and there between chores and house maintenance. Painting when she could, and selling the paintings for what she could get. During the hotter months of spring and summer she would move their bedding upstairs, and during the colder months of fall and winter she would move everything back down the stairs. Magda had even replanted the few plants back outside that she'd brought in and traded back the pots. As she stared at her latest painting, which to her was a celebration of her children's growth from infant to child, she knew she would need to use the money for new clothes and full sized beds. Apple and Vincenzo were steadier on their feet and had shown that they could sit at the table like a grown up. As she reviewed her trade list, she added their potty chair and cribs since they didn't need to use them anymore. She also added one of the racks from the kitchen pantry. Magda found herself grateful that she'd already repaired all the holes on the second floor while the twins had still been in their toddle stage, before they'd figured out how to climb up the stairs. She wasn't sure she was ready for this next stage of their life or the fact that with each year they grew she was getting older, but there was no stopping the steady march of time. As Magda dug into the soil, placing her weight on her toes to keep her heals from sticking into the ground, she contemplated how her skills with the small saw on the multi tool had improved enough for her to build the crude fence from the dead shrubs that had lined the yard. It wouldn't keep the small crawling critters out, but it would help deter the larger wild animals. Magda was grateful that there didn't seem to be any large predators, just a few wild horses, deer, and the occasional racoon. For the most part the larger animals seemed skittish of her and stayed away, except the occasional deer. In an effort to conserve her limited supply of burnable materials, Magda pushed herself to use body movement for warmth. For once she didn't mind the tacky clothes Vicenzo had given her, as the ill fitting garments worked with her expanding belly. The ill fitting garments had also been handy to wear when she'd crudely fixed the flooring on the second floor in the hall and the drafty room she was using. In the humid heat the drafts helped keep her cool at night, but she had no idea of how the fall or winter would be on the island. There were days when she felt imprisoned by her choices, and hoped that her limited food supply wasn't hurting the child growing within her belly. She'd tried denying her condition but those kicks couldn't be denied, especially when they knocked her small plate of greens off of her belly. A very real baby from a fake marriage would be joining her in the utter isolation of the island for once in the last few years she considered the impact of her choices on someone besides herself. The scientists had been nice enough with trading supplies for her finds, but none of them knew anything about children let alone the birthing process of babies outside of the basics covered by biology classes. Magda allowed herself a moment of self congratulation. The crib in a box had assembled smoother than she had first feared after looking at the thin instruction book and all the parts included. Magda was about to get herself another plate of greens when the first contraction hit. Holy hell waters, the pain that rippled across her belly and low back was worse than anything she'd experienced to date as far as physical pain went. She carefully made her way to her room and alternated between resting on the bed when contractions gripped her and pacing the room. As an extra strong contraction ripped through her tears rushed down her face memories long buried broke free and swirled chaotically in her mind threatening her grip on sanity and reality. Mamma was so pretty, her long blond hair tickled Magda's nose as she reached up giggling. Mamma tossed her high and Magda squealed in delight. Mamma's pretty red dress against the green of the grass and the blue blanket she lounged on. Mamma warned Magda to not wander to far as she tried to toddle after a butterfly. Mamma trying to hide tears as she crumbled the piece of paper the man in uniform had delivered. Mamma's voice cracking as she sung Magda to sleep. Mamma's stiff black dress as they sat on the wooden bench, and the strangers saying papa had been a hero. Mamma's plate untouched, her hair wasn't shiny anymore it was dull and stringy. Mamma's pretty dresses hanging in the closet, Mamma didn't wear them anymore, only the stained stiff black dress. Mamma didn't laugh or sing anymore, Magda didn't understand why they didn't go to the park anymore. Why Mamma cried so hard when she touched Magda's hair. Magda couldn't understand why Mamma didn't wake up, she was hungry and Mamma always got her food when she was hungry. Strangers broke in and Magda cried harder for Mamma to wake up. The strange man in the dark blue uniform had been nice, he'd given her something to eat, someone in a white coat was telling him broken heart syndrome. A lady in a stiff woolen suit introduced Magda to a couple. It was the first time Magda heard the words orphan, no family left, she was four. The memories swirled more. The lunch room at school and the other children making fun of not just Magda, but the others from the orphanage as well. The scowling teacher handing her worn worn supplies, and stating she, and the other orphans, weren't trusted to take the good books home. High school and Lacy's joy at making the cheer team being cut short after learning that there was no money for the uniform. Jacob trying to hide tears after the other kids called him gay and fag, when he'd dressed up with some of the acting class supplies before school. The droop in the directors shoulders after Jacob's lifeless body had been pulled from river. The tear quickly wiped away from Lacy's eye's. Homecoming when Brittany had taunted Magda for even attempting to run for prom royalty. The determination Magda had felt when she decided that she'd show those rich snobs up by becoming wealthier than all of them. The elation when her acting skills had paid off and she'd been admitted into the swanky club and landed her first wealthy boyfriend and moved away from Riverview. The sting of rejection when she had realized that Edgar and Sven had merely used her towards their own ends. Holding her daughter in her arms Magda felt reality snap back into focus, and she pushed her past back into the dark recesses of her mind, no longer locked away behind doors, but no longer a threat to her sanity either. Magda named her Apple and gingerly placed her in the crib as she felt a kick and another contraction. Insanity threatened to crash back down as she realized she was about to have another child. As dawn peaked through the boarded up windows Magda stared down at the little boy wiggling in her arms. At a loss for names she went the only route her exhausted and frazzled brain offered up and named the boy Vincenzo after their father. It had taken about a week, which had felt like forever, but Magda managed to get a second crib dropped off. It's assembly had gone much smoother having had practice assembling Apple's crib. Her clothes still didn't fit right so she continued to wear the pink thing. Magda didn't wandered far from the house, she wanted to be able to hear her children when they woke. She soaked up the little bit of warm sun and harvested what she could from the garden. She wanted to explore for more trade-ables but was worried about her children's safety. There were no close by neighbors to call the police if anything happened to Magda, and the memory of hunger and Mamma not waking up haunted her fears. She'd used the last of her credit from an odd gnome she'd unearthed in the garden, with the scientists to get an artists easel, some painting supplies, and the materials needed to fix the doors so the house was now secured from animals wandering in and out on the first floor. Magda stumbled towards the cribs, and tried to remember what sleep was. Thinking there had to be more than this to life. The lack of sleep and constant isolation made everything feel like a story that had happened to someone else. As the twins slowly slept more steadily as they grew bigger, Magda found more clarity through painting. She traded a painting for a shovel, and after a months hard work, managed to move the piping and pump away from the kitchen door and out into the garden. Yes it meant walking further for potable water, but it was worth not having water bugs in the kitchen. She could feel the nip of fall in the air and wondered if the stairs would hold if she tried to shift the furniture downstairs. Magda traded another painting, and got a few small items to keep her growing, and now crawling, babies occupied while she painted and gardened.
As Apple and Vincenzo played with their toys Magda felt a fierce protectiveness growing within her. She wasn't sure how she'd manage, but she was determined that her children would never know the pain, humiliation, or loneliness that she'd experienced after entering the orphanage. On one level she no longer craved the desire to be alone with a large pile of money, but she still found herself craving the nicer things in life that she knew were available. The first few days on the small island were hard on Magda, the isolation wore heavily on her and at first she refused to explore beyond the few safe and accessible rooms of the house. Eventually though she set aside her heels for her flats and started pulling up all of the dry weeds to burn in the stove. From the layer of ash she'd had to clear out, she wasn't the only one who used the oven this way. With no electricity there really was no other option. Another day another wave of nausea and not just nausea, she could no longer deny the her middle was thickening and that her perfectly tailored dress no longer zipped up. Anger and frustration boiled in Magda and she lost it, she screamed at the heavens above until her voice was a raspy shred of a squeak, and when she could no longer get out a squeak she threw her shoes out of frustration before collapsing back on the bed sobbing. Eventually Magda stopped crying and went to fetch her shoes, she'd need them to avoid splinters. To her subdued delight she'd knocked a board loose from the wall, stuffed inside were some very dated fabrics. Magda pulled the fabric out and found a plain shift that could be used as a nightgown, and a ghastly pink thing that would keep the chill of the fog at bay better than her thin silk dress did. Magda was surprised to unearth some plant seedlings trying to sprout under the brambles and weeds. Out of a desire of for something other than the dwindling supply of outdated canned soup. She pumped water and watered all of the struggling plants. Crying and weak from hunger, Magda had run out of soup the night before, she finally payed attention to the loan tree near the house that had greenery on it. Apples! Magda devoured as many as her stomach would hold, their juice dripping down her chin. Never before had such a simple fruit tasted so good to Magda. Sitting under the apple tree savoring one final apple Magda reflected on her short life to this point. Growing up in an orphanage apples such as the ones on this tree had always been on the table, but they'd never been fresh, nothing served at meals had been from fresh. Everything was always withered and on the edge of rotting, and there'd never been enough to fill hungry growing bellies. The couple who ran the orphanage had always done their best to try to bring to cheer to the table, but Magda had always pushed them away. They hadn't been her mamma. A tear leaked out the corner of Magda's eye and trickled down her cheek, over the course of the last 18 years her memory of mamma had become very fuzzy, but she could still remember the loving sweet laughing smile as mamma tossed her in the air and called Magda her sweet joy. Magda jumped up swiftly pushing memories back behind their locked doors she didn't want to remember more, remembering more always brought pain. Throwing on the horrid pink thing Magda pushed herself to explore the rest of the island, it was mostly empty, an abandoned mine with a barely standing shack was the only sign of habitation besides the house she was living in. As she walked the daily light drizzle began, and much to Magda's delight she spotted a ship off in the distance. Despite the rain, Magda hurried in the direction of the ship, skirting past the lizards and other creepy crawlies that lived in abundance on the island. Grabbing a stick with moss on one end she ignored the urge to scream and drop it as a spider crawled across her hand and into the moss wrapped around the middle and waved the stick frantically as if it were a piece of cloth. Movement was that movement? She tightened her grip and waved the mossy stick trying to recreate some of the patterns from when she helped Lacy practice for cheer tryouts. A light blinked in her direction and she suddenly wished she'd paid more attention to Jacob's constant talking about Morse code. Magda made her waving more exaggerated. Just as her arms were growing leaden and she was ready to give up hope, she spotted a boat lowering over the side and rowing towards her. Magda allowed herself a moment of collapse before straightening back up and composing herself. Despite the outdated dress she easily slipped back into her carefully crafted persona of wealth and entitlement that had served her well up until recent events. Magda harvested apples from the tree contemplating her future. The ship was a science vessel, no room for an extra passenger, but they were willing to trade. She'd tried to offer some of her apples, and they'd offered her some of theirs instead. They asked about the island wildlife and if she'd noticed any rocks or minerals of interest.
She'd showed them the shiny rock she'd picked up earlier and they'd traded her a multi tool pocket knife, and a few mre's. When she described a lizard she'd spotted earlier they got really excited and let her know that they'd compensate her with whatever they could get shipped to their station if she'd trap specimens for them. When she'd pushed for passage they'd explained that her island was so far away from everything that no one would come out for one person for anything less than 50 thousand. With great effort Magda kept her calm and requested a list of what she could get shipped to her through them. |
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